Today has been a pretty good day. I am starting to feel the effects of the chemo, but I was able to function okay today. I got up and went to church and stayed for all the meetings. I felt okay, maybe a little run down. Mom and Dad came into town last night. They are staying at my sister's 15 minutes away at night, then they will come here during the day. It feels so nice to have them here. They are on a mission for our church this summer, but are able to take a few days off to come over and help with the kids. There's nothing like having your Mom around when your not feeling well. She is a great Mom. I am grateful to have such good parents!
I am not as discouraged this round so far. I was so drained last time. I am feeling pretty optimistic about things. It is so frustrating when your mind is willing...but your body won't cooperate! I feel like an old woman. I am trying to have a postive attitude...I really am.
Tonight I was watching my girls play outside with Grandpa and it made me realize how important those moments really are. I don't think I enjoyed them as much as I do now. How grateful I am for that change of perspective.
That's all I wanted to write tonight. Good night
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Saturday, July 16, 2005
A Pretty Good Day.
I have had an okay day today. My parents are here from out of state for 5 days! They are here to help me with the kids when I hit my bad days at the first of the week. I am thirty two years old and having my Mom and Dad near still brings me such great comfort. No one understands me like my Mom and she is a great woman. They hadn't seen me bald until tonight. They tried not to act shocked, but I could tell it was "weird" for them. Who am I kidding...it's still weird for me. I am growing more confident in public though and it feels good to not have to worry about it too much and how I look.
I am getting more done this week-end than I thought I would be able to. I have had more energy since I was put on the steroids. They do make me a little edgy...just ask my hubbies (poor guy). I get this nesting feeling right before I go in for chemo where I feel like I have to have EVERYTHING in total order, because I know I will be down for a good 5-6 days at a time. I have to have my kids things in order, laundry, meals for the week, house cleaning, bills all done a head of time just so I don't get behind. Brent is a wonderful help and really steps up! What a guy!
I am exhausted tonight, but my mind is running a million miles an hour. I guess I better call it a night. One other thing I wanted to add was the wonderful support of people who have been there for me and my family! People from church, friends, and family. I feel so lucky and blessed! My sister Ann has sent me a card or a package nearly every week to cheer me on. Friends have sent kind cards and emails weekly. I can't begin to tell you how much your love and support gets me through. Thank you all! I love and appreciate you!
Love, Dana
I am getting more done this week-end than I thought I would be able to. I have had more energy since I was put on the steroids. They do make me a little edgy...just ask my hubbies (poor guy). I get this nesting feeling right before I go in for chemo where I feel like I have to have EVERYTHING in total order, because I know I will be down for a good 5-6 days at a time. I have to have my kids things in order, laundry, meals for the week, house cleaning, bills all done a head of time just so I don't get behind. Brent is a wonderful help and really steps up! What a guy!
I am exhausted tonight, but my mind is running a million miles an hour. I guess I better call it a night. One other thing I wanted to add was the wonderful support of people who have been there for me and my family! People from church, friends, and family. I feel so lucky and blessed! My sister Ann has sent me a card or a package nearly every week to cheer me on. Friends have sent kind cards and emails weekly. I can't begin to tell you how much your love and support gets me through. Thank you all! I love and appreciate you!
Love, Dana
Friday, July 15, 2005
Another Chemo Day
I got thought another round of chemo today! I am half way through this mess! I still can't believe I am dealing with cancer, and chemo, and deciding what to do about genetic testing. That subject of genetic testing has been weighing on my mind a lot this past week. I think if I find out that I do have the BC gene mutation, then I will go ahead and have a radical double mastectomy. I can't imagine going through this all over ten years down the road and chance it reoccurring and metastasizing. That is a big worry for me....especially being so young and having young children. My doctor talked with us about it today and explained a ton of my questions. He was honest about it and told me straight up if I react the "incurable" stage...he will tell me and we deal with it head on. I appreciated his honesty! I fell safer knowing I will, and have been dealt with honestly!
Tonight I am feeling "yuck". I am tired and my body feels like it weighs a million pounds...but I can't sleep! I am dreading the upcoming week. I wish it were September and I could be done. I start Taxol the next round I have heard it's worse, and then I have heard it's not as bad as Adrimyician. I guess I just have to find out and see. I am bummed because Deon my chemo buddy finished her chemo today. I will miss chatting with her and having her as a support in the chair. We are planning to go to dinner with our husbands when we both get feeling better.
I am trying be optimistic and hopeful, but I have had a lot of anxiety and worries. All the "what if's". I know for my own health I need to knock it off...but I am also a realistic person that needs to know what is going on so I can make a plan. I feel so "up in the air". This is not what I had planned this summer! :)
I really need to try and get some sleep...but I also know that is what I will be doing for the next week.
"I will survive...I will not lay down and die...oh no not I"...my new theme song!!
Goodnight!
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
My diagnosis...Breast Cancer
My name is Dana, and I am a 32 year old married mother of three young girls. I was diagnosed with breast cancer about 6 weeks ago. My life has changed dramatically in that short amount of time since being faced with the treatment of my cancer. I have decided to record my experience for several different reasons! I want other women who may be going through a similar experience to seek appropriate treatment and to be their own best advocate! If you feel like something is wrong…DON’T GIVE UP! Find someone who will listen!! I also want and need to write out my feelings and experiences...Mostly so I won't blow up! With that said...I will start from the top.
I went into a very large women's clinic in our town (Idaho Falls, Idaho) a year ago last March (2004) complaining there was a small lump in the ductal area in my left breast. I couldn't get into see a doctor so I was put in with a nurse practitioner. She told me the lump was nothing to worry about and that cancer started in the back of the breast...She even showed me pictures. ...What!…Ductile carcinoma is the number one type of breast cancer. She told me it was probably a clogged milk duct, even though I hadn't been nursing my baby for over 6 months. No follow up...nothing! So, because I trusted her and didn't know better...I didn't think about it again.
I went to this same clinic several times throughout out 2004 complaining of fatigue and various other symptoms. I went in for my yearly exam in September (2004). At that time I had my regular breast exam. The lump was not checked, even though after obtaining my medical records, it should have been. Again, I couldn't get into a doctor, nor the same nurse practitioner...I had to see an entirely new person. This NP kept putting me on different medications for depression and fatigue without little investigative work on what the real cause may have been ( a large growing tumor). I even got a referral to a psychiatrist for the "depression".
By the following February (2005) I was experiencing severe chest pain and I had a sore area in the same breast I found the first lump. The area was tender to touch and begun rapidly growing into a hard mass. I went in one last time to this same clinic to have it checked. I told her it felt like mastitis or like my milk was coming in. My baby was 20 months old and I hadn't breast feed her since she was 2 months old. The same NP told me there was nothing suspicious and not to worry about it. She actually told me to go home and run my breast under warm water and gave me a referral to a cardiologist for the chest pain!! This is a practitioner at a WOMEN'S CLINIC!
From February to April the mass begun growing even more rapidly and was so sore that I couldn't touch it. I am very large breasted to begin with so when I started becoming lopsided, I knew the mass had to be very large and growing rapidly! My husband demanded I go get a second opinion. I felt frustrated and didn't know where to go. The largest women's clinic in our town had told me SEVERAL times it was nothing to worry about.
One night while watching TV, we came across a commercial for a new OB/GYN Margaret Huggins M.D. , who had relocated from California and was taking new patients. I called her the next day and was seen immediately! She examined the mass in my breast and referred me to get testing done THAT DAY! I was sent to get an ultrasound, mammogram, and ultimately a biopsy. All three tests did show the large mass growing in my breast...But did not show CANCER!!! Even the biopsy didn't show cancer. The pathologist even called me a couple days later to tell me the tissue examined was fiber changes in my breast as well as scar tissue, but not to worry because it wasn't cancer. Dr. Huggins, thankfully had the insight to call a local surgeon Dr. Judy Jones who specialists in breast surgery and consulted with her about having the large mass removed regardless of what it was. I shutter to think of what would have happened if she didn’t!
Since I was told it was nothing to worry about I put off going in to Dr. Jones for a couple of weeks. After meeting with her, she urged me to have the mass removed and thought there may be a possible abscess to drain due to the size and tenderness. I scheduled surgery three days later. I am so grateful I did...The mass was a cancerous tumor the size of an orange measuring 10 cm across!! I was diagnosed with infiltrating ductile carcinoma on May 25, 2005...A day I will never forget.
I went into a very large women's clinic in our town (Idaho Falls, Idaho) a year ago last March (2004) complaining there was a small lump in the ductal area in my left breast. I couldn't get into see a doctor so I was put in with a nurse practitioner. She told me the lump was nothing to worry about and that cancer started in the back of the breast...She even showed me pictures. ...What!…Ductile carcinoma is the number one type of breast cancer. She told me it was probably a clogged milk duct, even though I hadn't been nursing my baby for over 6 months. No follow up...nothing! So, because I trusted her and didn't know better...I didn't think about it again.
I went to this same clinic several times throughout out 2004 complaining of fatigue and various other symptoms. I went in for my yearly exam in September (2004). At that time I had my regular breast exam. The lump was not checked, even though after obtaining my medical records, it should have been. Again, I couldn't get into a doctor, nor the same nurse practitioner...I had to see an entirely new person. This NP kept putting me on different medications for depression and fatigue without little investigative work on what the real cause may have been ( a large growing tumor). I even got a referral to a psychiatrist for the "depression".
By the following February (2005) I was experiencing severe chest pain and I had a sore area in the same breast I found the first lump. The area was tender to touch and begun rapidly growing into a hard mass. I went in one last time to this same clinic to have it checked. I told her it felt like mastitis or like my milk was coming in. My baby was 20 months old and I hadn't breast feed her since she was 2 months old. The same NP told me there was nothing suspicious and not to worry about it. She actually told me to go home and run my breast under warm water and gave me a referral to a cardiologist for the chest pain!! This is a practitioner at a WOMEN'S CLINIC!
From February to April the mass begun growing even more rapidly and was so sore that I couldn't touch it. I am very large breasted to begin with so when I started becoming lopsided, I knew the mass had to be very large and growing rapidly! My husband demanded I go get a second opinion. I felt frustrated and didn't know where to go. The largest women's clinic in our town had told me SEVERAL times it was nothing to worry about.
One night while watching TV, we came across a commercial for a new OB/GYN Margaret Huggins M.D. , who had relocated from California and was taking new patients. I called her the next day and was seen immediately! She examined the mass in my breast and referred me to get testing done THAT DAY! I was sent to get an ultrasound, mammogram, and ultimately a biopsy. All three tests did show the large mass growing in my breast...But did not show CANCER!!! Even the biopsy didn't show cancer. The pathologist even called me a couple days later to tell me the tissue examined was fiber changes in my breast as well as scar tissue, but not to worry because it wasn't cancer. Dr. Huggins, thankfully had the insight to call a local surgeon Dr. Judy Jones who specialists in breast surgery and consulted with her about having the large mass removed regardless of what it was. I shutter to think of what would have happened if she didn’t!
Since I was told it was nothing to worry about I put off going in to Dr. Jones for a couple of weeks. After meeting with her, she urged me to have the mass removed and thought there may be a possible abscess to drain due to the size and tenderness. I scheduled surgery three days later. I am so grateful I did...The mass was a cancerous tumor the size of an orange measuring 10 cm across!! I was diagnosed with infiltrating ductile carcinoma on May 25, 2005...A day I will never forget.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
About Me
- Dana
- Idaho Falls, Idaho, United States
- I am a 36 year old woman, married to a great guy, and together we have three beautiful daughters. I am a three and a half year breast cancer survivor. This past year I have become active in the cause of helping those who are batteling cancer!