I am having a pretty good day. It's amazing when I don't have radiation, I don't feel AS tired. Today is Saturday and I have the weekend off radiation which is like a mini vacation. I have had a bad attitude about this and wonder if I can make it through the next few weeks. The rash on my chest is so painful and irritated. It is almost up my neck...it's like trying to hide a hicci in highschool.
I have been exhausted this week. I have been crazy busy and when I have two seconds to sit down, I about fall asleep. Yesterday, I just needed to sleep. I started feeling the guilt again over being a bad Mom. I felt like my kids are getting a raw deal. They get a mom who to them looks lazy and sleeps all the time. They want me to read and play games and some days I just CAN'T do it. It feels horrible to me. It must feel horrible to them. Everyone says this was a good age for them to be, for me to go through cancer because they won't remember. Yet, as a mental health worker I worry about their personality development and stuff like that. I want what is best for them but I am too tired to do it. I am feeling the same way I did going through chemo.
My two year old just came up to me with a tube of the salve I keep on my radiation area to keep the skin from cracking and falling off. She pulled up her shirt and wanted me to put some on her. They don't miss a thing even when you don't think they are looking. Only a few more weeks...
About Me
- Dana
- Idaho Falls, Idaho, United States
- I am a 36 year old woman, married to a great guy, and together we have three beautiful daughters. I am a three and a half year breast cancer survivor. This past year I have become active in the cause of helping those who are batteling cancer!
2 comments:
Those girls are lucky to have you. They aren't "missing" anything. They have a wonderful mother who loves them.
Breast cancer is a disease more difficult to tackle because the symptoms of this disease but I am very painful but there are medications that may be satisfactory to subtract against the symptoms of the disease for example I take vicodin and norco which are drugs very good in these cases.
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