Neuropathy Nuisance and The Senate

Man, I just have to complain a little about this darn neuropathy in my arms and hands. It has REALLY been bothering me the past few weeks. My hands get stabbing pains, fall asleep easily (pins and needles), and I can't grasp things very well. This weekend I went to Boise with a girlfriend. I ordered a steak at dinner and I had the most difficult time cutting it. My friend kept asking me if I needed her to cut it for me...I did, but I was too stubborn to let her. It was really frustrating and frankly...embarassing. My oncologist tells me the neuropathy can be permanent which feels so disheartening. So far, I swear it has gotten worse. I have difficulty with my feet as well. They cramp very easily if I move my toes. Talk about Charlie-horse city. They also get the pins and needles and hurt. They feel weird in my shoes. Hard to explain. Anyway, I feel a little better getting that out. :)

This weekend I mentioned I went to Boise. We went to testify to the Idaho Senate Committee in hopes of getting the statute of limitations abolished on childhood sexual abuse. My girlfriend is a victim of abuse and has gotten involved in this legislation. I was very proud of all the work she has done in hopes of getting this law changed. I had never been to a Senate Committee hearing. It was very interesting and I felt proud to be there. There were so many people there in favor of passing the bill (and no one in opposition), that they only had one man testify. The Committee voted unanimously in favor! We didn't end up having to testify even though we were ready to go. My speech was from my perspective as a Mental Health Worker and witnessing the effects of abuse my clients have experienced. The effects are devastating and long lasting. By abolishing the statues, victims will be able to report when they are READY!!

Life has been so busy lately. I have continued to feel incredibly tired and worn out. I am not taking care of myself like I need to. I feel great guilt about that and struggle daily with doing the things I need to in order to achieve optimum health. Yes, this includes losing the weight I swore I would get off. I am stuck on the scale and have done nothing to continue on my road of weight loss. One would think CANCER would propel me to GET IN GEAR. Yet, it is so difficult and the poor habits I have developed in this lifetime continue to have their choke hold on me. I feel weak in this battle...Fighting cancer had little choices...fight or die. Eating right and exercising is a daily series of choices... and I continue to make poor ones.

Tonight, I will pray for the strength to move forward, to be better, to overcome.