Bean Bag Baby

I usually love fall and the leaves turning and all that goes with it...but I don't like daylight savings and how early it gets dark! I get a little low and tired and want to go to bed at 5 pm. Today has been pretty laid back, not much going on even though I have a ton to do! I just can't seem to get going. I feel so disorganized in my brain and I can't seem to get back into a routine. Seriously, I had a better routine when I was going through chemo...because I had to. Now, I just can't seem to pull it together. I talked to a dear friend of mine who went through cancer this summer too and she expressed the same feelings about feeling overwhelmed with "getting back to life".

My routine is going to change next week for sure. I start radiation at the Cancer Center part of Eastern Idaho's Regional Medical Center. I thought I would start this week, but the planning and mapping is taking longer than I realized it would. I went in Monday for my initial consultation with the radiation oncologist Dr. Calvin McCallister. He went over what radiation is and what they would be doing. He seemed like a pretty nice guy. He did yet another breast exam. I seriously think I've been "felt up" by the entire medical community here in Idaho Falls. It's worse than having a baby...no dignity with the parts.

I went in again to the Cancer Center (where they do the radiation) on Tuesday to get a planning CT scan and do a body mold. It was very interesting. First, the nurse shows me where to change and tells me to put on a cape and go to the radiation waiting room...what? I had to wait in the waiting room without anything on top? Luckily the cape was bigger than the ones they have at oncology! I'm telling you it wouldn't have been a problem when I was 22 and skinny...but now it's a little more risky mostly for those walking by!

Then they took me to the CT room and I had to lie on the CT table on this beanbag type of thing. Then they had to position me exactly how they wanted me for radiation so they could make a body mold. It was somewhat comical. I am lying there on this table with both my arms in the air. My cape is pulled up so they could adjust "things" just right and I swear everyone and their dog came to help out. I'm laying there all hanging out and the tech is introducing me to the head of the cancer center. What am I suppose to say..."Hey there, nice to meet ya"...would you like a looksie to? And then the doctor comes in and is drawing on me and measuring my chest. Then another lady came in to help with the body mold. Good thing I'm not shy...

After they got me in the exact position they needed me in, they sucked all the air out of the beanbag thing making it as hard as a rock...Walla a body mold. Different from what I had in mind. I was sorta thinking more a long the lines of the old plaster stuff they used to make casts out of...sorry for the visual. Anyways, they will then take that mold and put it on the radiation table so I can lie in that exact position every time. They also taped some marks on me that I have to keep on until next week (which are driving me crazy). When they decide the marks are in the precise place they need to be they will tattoo them on me forever. The tattooed marks will be the places they will radiate. I will have one more mapping appointment next week before we get started to make sure everything is perfectly aligned. I will then have to have 33 radiation treatments, Monday through Friday for 6 1/2 weeks.

As far as the weight loss is going...I am doing okay. Halloween was a killer! A two and four year old can't possible eat all those little candy bars all by themselves! I have maintained but I don't think I will be losing much this week! Just for the rocord though...I did count my points (okay most of them). Brent is doing awesome! He's lost eight pounds too! I've got to do this...but it's hard and food is so good! I will...I will...I will!!