Here I am

A few people have become concerned about my lack of communication the last couple of weeks. Here I am...a live and kicking...well, okay alive! I am so busy and so tired I cannot even tell you! I have not had the energy to do much of anything except the very minimal required of me. I am mentally depleted and physically drained. The radiation is catching up to me quickly! If I haven't already written it... I HATE RADIATION!! It is a pain in the butt! I hate the drive, I hate the schedule, and I hate lying on a table without a top on with fifty people in the room. Incase you didn't catch it...I HATE RADIATION!! I am so tired! Everyone told me radiation isn't as bad as chemo (which it isn't, not much could be), but it sucks in it's own unique way! I'm not sick, but I am just bone tired and I feel like I have a really bad sunburn. The nurse told me it is too soon to be having a skin reaction...kinda of like I'm too young to have cancer. Bite me! Tell that to my sore nipple that feels like I've been nursing a newborn...OUCH!

The crazy thing is I have decided to go back to work after Thanksgiving (part-time) because the medical bills are piling up and we need the cash flow! I'm not sure if I can do it, but I've got to try. Good thing is I love what I do. Wish me luck!

I have got to write about something absolutely ironic! The last few weeks I had agreed to help with a tree for the Festival of the Trees. My oncologist is the one who sponsored it and his wife is who spearheaded the decorating. We worked for two weeks on this thing! It turned out absolutely beautiful! It was called the tree of hope. The tree had birdcages on it with birds flying up portraying hope. To the side of the tree was a framed poem with the poem by Emily Dickinson "Hope is a Feather." Well, the ironic thing is, people/businesses from the community come to the festival and buy the trees, and the proceeds go to a local charity. When I got there the first night my doctor and his wife said, "you are NEVER going to believe who bought the tree". I couldn't imagine who...but when I looked at the plaque I about fell over! One of the main doctor's from the clinic that misdiagnosed me for over a year was the one who bought it! At least she paid out the nose for it!

I have also been asked to be on the board for a new non-profit foundation set-up to help cancer patients in our community. I was nominated as the secretary, which should keep me busy! The board has some awesome people on it! We had a board meeting the other night and we came up with some great ideas to help cancer patients here in little old Idaho Falls. I feel like I have "taken" for the past six months...it's time for me to give back. I feel honored to be able to be a part of this. So, if any of you out there have ideas, please send them to me! Since we are in a smaller area with patients who come from rural areas for treatment, there is such a need! Some people come clear from Jackson Hole, WY and Island Park, Idaho everyday for radiation/chemo. Which is over an hour drive each way with some pretty scary road conditions.

Last week at church I gave a lesson in Relief Society about our bodies and the importance of taking care of them and accepting them. When I introduced the lesson, I said "I don't know how you will feel about a fat, bald women, with cancer giving you this lesson, but I hope you can see the importance of this lesson". I then talked about the importance of us as women accepting and caring for our bodies. I said " for me to teach this lesson I hope you can accept mine". I then took off my turban and taught the lesson bald. I started bawling but I think the lesson turned out good and I got the points across that I wanted to. The women had a lot of comments and interacted well.

So, as you can see...I have been super busy and when I am not running around with my head cut off...I am sleeping! I appreciate all of you who have been concerned and keep in touch! I have been terrible at this lately, please forgive me!

Oh man...tomorrow is our seventh wedding anniversary! Wow, time flies when you've got a good guy!