Wishing it were September!

Today...like the last few have been incredibly boring and frustrating. My kids are crawling up the walls and so am I. Church arranged for people to take the kids for a few hours a day. Today, no one showed and we all could have used a break. They are as irritable as I feel. Or maybe that's the other way around. I feel so guilty that I can't take them places like I used to like swimming or to the park. I feel like I can hardly function. Just keeping them fed and dressed is a miracle some days. I try to always make sure they are bathed and their hair is done. I fear people will think "Oh, poor kids...their Mom has cancer...she just can't take care of them". Just writing that makes me want to cry.

My four year old knows I can't chase her to make her do what is asked...and she is getting more and more whinny and defiant. I don't know what to do...I could use a visit from the "Super Nanny". Some days I just feel helpless...worthless. I want to fight this ugly disease so I can raise my children...in the mean time raising them is harder than ever. I do love those little stinkers more than life it's self.

I feel like my patience is running thin and my sense of humor is drying out. Only three more treatments...