Sunday, September 18, 2005

Break Down

Tonight I had a breakdown and started bawling to my husband. My four year old Addie came in the kitchen where my husband was hugging me and made it a group hug. I hate crying in front of my kids. It makes them scared because I am really not a crier.

I got scared about dying again. I also got angry about being misdiagnosed for over a year. It makes me CRAZY to think this should have been diagnosed early and I did my part but the medical field did NOT! I wouldn't have had to go through this extensive of treatment if I was treated earlier....It makes me so ANGRY! Brent and I talked more about legal action and what we want to do. It just freaks me out to think the women's clinic I went to could be doing this to other women...delaying treatment and risking their lives....just like they did to me. I kept telling them I had a lump and I wasn't feeling right....

I know it's important to stay positive...and I usually do, but right now I am scared and angry. I hate not knowing what is going to happen. Is the cancer gone? Did the chemo work? Will I have to have a mastectomy? Will I live? It's so much to think about and I don't know how to handle it...so I am writing about it to at least get it out of my head.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel girl. lol

I went to my doctor when I started having problems and she kept telling me it was nothing. I kept telling her that it had to be SOMETHING and finally, 7 months later, she sent me to another doctor who diagnosed me with cancer within 2 weeks. lolol

I went through the angry stage and finally decided that I wasn't going to worry about the past. Life is too short and I can't go back and change what happened. I would just be happy that I am alive and kicking today. I thank God for that. :-)

If you ever need someone to talk to or rant to, just let me know! I'm just a phone call away. :-)

About Me

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Idaho Falls, Idaho, United States
I am a 36 year old woman, married to a great guy, and together we have three beautiful daughters. I am a three and a half year breast cancer survivor. This past year I have become active in the cause of helping those who are batteling cancer!