FINALLY!!!

I finally got the results to my pathology report! The surgeon's office called this afternoon to tell me all the margins that were cleared in surgery were free from any residual carcinoma!!!!! There were however three lymph nodes that were positive for cancer, out of the fifteen that were removed. I won't have to have a mastectomy or any other surgery at this point (I would say ever, but I don't want to jinx myself :).

I called my Oncologist, Dr. Christian T. Shull after I hung up and he said that he had planned on some of the nodes being positive, that is why I will to have radiation. The radiation should kill any remaining cancer cells that surgery and chemo didn't get. I will start radiation is three weeks and will have radiation every day (except Saturday & Sundays) for six and a half weeks.

I feel so much relief and trepidation all at the very same time. Part of me feels like "wow, it's gone" and the other part of me is thinking "what if there is still cancer and it comes back...this can't be real". A great guy named Amiko wrote to me saying "it's hard to wrap your mind around the fact you have cancer...but it's just as hard to wrap your mind around the fact that it's gone". That really sums up how I am feeling. I know this must be normal to feel excited and unsure...I just hope I don't drive myself crazy in the mean time. All I can do is take the very best care of myself and "Let Go and Let God".

I want you all to know I truly do believe in the power of prayer and I know that is what is helping me get well. I KNOW IT!! My cancer is a very aggressive, advanced cancer...really, my prognosis wasn't that good. I believe I am beating this due to the overwhelming amount of prayers in my behalf...from people of all different faiths. Think about it. I had a 10 cm tumor with lymph invasion, grade three, stage three that is not hormone sensitive. All that and I didn't even have to have a mastectomy...coincidence? I think not!! Thank you for your faith. Very humbling...

I also believe all things happen for a reason and I have much more to learn. I'm not going down yet! I have already learned volumes from this experience. I have met AMAZING people who are also fighting this disease and battling with such courage and strength (Lori). You inspire me daily and give me the courage to keep going.

I have had such a wide range of emotion today...but mostly one of gratitude, hope, and relief.