I haven't gotten the pathology results back from my surgery yet. It feels like forever. I just keep expecting bad news and more surgery. I called the surgeon's office today (Dr. Judy Jones), but they said they had already called the pathologist's and they are still working on it. The receptionist said she would call as soon as she got it. Hopefully we’ll hear something in the morning.
My Mom is still here helping me with the kids. It has been so nice to have her here. If I need more surgery she will stay, if not, she will be leaving tomorrow. I don't want her to go. Today, my sister came over with lunch and a movie. We put the kids down for their naps and had "movie afternoon". It felt so good to relax a little!
I have been so tired today and in a lot of pain. I had started feeling better pain wise, but tonight I am really hurting. I am so ready for this to be done. I am not feeling good about the results. I ask myself why I am feeling this way. Is it because I am expecting the worst and hoping for the best? Is it personal revelation? Am I just freaked out? I just can't believe having that many dark lymph nodes and another suspicious spot can be good news. I try being positive, but being positive doesn't mean being unrealistic. I can't burry my head in the sand and pretend there isn't a problem. Hopefully tomorrow we'll know.
If I do have to get the mastectomy...I think I will just do one side for now. I was pretty set on doing a double, but now that I have had surgery, having both done seems so overwhelming and painful. I can't get myself to even think about it.
Thanks again for all your love and support! Sunday my friend Deon brought me two dozen gorgeous yellow roses. Then today Brent's cousin brought me flowers and so did some women from the ward. It really brightens my days. I also truly appreciate the thoughts and prayers in my behalf! Thank you!
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About Me
- Dana
- Idaho Falls, Idaho, United States
- I am a 36 year old woman, married to a great guy, and together we have three beautiful daughters. I am a three and a half year breast cancer survivor. This past year I have become active in the cause of helping those who are batteling cancer!
3 comments:
Dana,
My mom just sent me your blog entries. I love reading them. I'm glad I can stay up-to-date with what's going on. You're an inspiration and have amazing strength. We pray for you and have put your name in the temple a couple of times. You're definitely being watched over! Isn't it amazing where life takes us?! I love you so much! Keep your spirits up. Remember that everything happens for a reason. That's easy for me to say, huh! :)You're awesome!
Sara Oblad :)
Dear God,
Why Dana? Why her husband and her children? You see I don't fully comprehend why these things happen. Some believe that everything happens for a reason no matter how irrational and unfair it is at the time. I say some people as if I am not one that believes that way but I am.
Dana you are so very strong and inspiring. I fight my battle along with my husband who is a wonderful support but you my dear fight with children. Thats like fighting with one arm behind your back.
I am on the edge of my seat regarding your pathology results... can't even begin to comprehend how your feeling.
I am sorry for all your physical and emotional pain. I do know what you mean by being realistic with yourself. I so often feel the same way.
Hope your family is well, get plenty of R&R and know your being prayed for by Cary and myself.
Love you Banana,
Lori
Hi Dana,
I understand how you are feeling. Last year at this time I was right where you are now. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers for strength, endurance, and compassion. It is a tough challenge, but I know you can do it!
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